VOTE FOR ME!!!
I’m sure I’ve said this dozens of times by now: Dating is a competitive sport and if you want to WIN, you’ll have to beat out all the other potential candidates. This, unfortunately means that someone will get hurt. Hey, it’s is a zero-sum game. In order for someone to win, someone else has to lose. That sucks, I know, but the game is the game.
Over the course of your dating career, you’re going to win some, lose some, and end up in the state psychiatric hospital over some (<–been there, done that, have the laminated medical wrist band to prove it). It’s ok, though. It’s life. It’s not going to kill you and it’s certainly not going to kill the other person. (In the unlikely case that it does, please send her family a nice wreath; it’s the least you can do).
Ladies, stop getting caught up in the idea of “sisterhood” and “female solidarity.” It’ll get you nowhere in the dating game. Dating is a lot like musical chairs. The women are the seven year-olds with the party hats and snotty noses, and the relationships are the chairs. At the end of the game, you want to have your ass in a relationship and the seven year olds want to have their asses in a seat. This is not Algebra people; just common sense.
Women who are married or in relationships have played this game and they played it to win. They just don’t like to admit it.
Please Watch/Listen!!!
This post is about competing with or eliminating the competition. Now, I’m in no way advocating violence. However, if you use this tactic and it works and you don’t die or go to prison in the process, I’ll gladly take the credit for that bit of advice. (You’re welcome in advance.)
Girls, hear me and hear me good: people are not property. No one can “take” or “steal” a person from another person. People are human beings who are born with the free-will to do as they please, including falling in and out of love with other people. If they choose to leave that person, they do so on their own free-will and it’s not your job to burden yourself with other people’s problems. Okay? Whatever happens between two people is probably for the best (and none of your damn business).
You got it?
Good.
So, here’s a little secret about men: men don’t leave the women they’re with until they’ve lined something up with someone else . It’s what they do. After a relationship is broken or has simply run its course, men like to keep it moving. When there’s a subtle, but permanent, emotional rift in the relationship between a man and his soon-to-be-ex, the man begins to emotionally distance himself from her so he can start something new with someone else. Men don’t like to be lonely so they begin the the process of replacing the old with the new while they are still with the old. At this time, the old girlfriend , is thinking things are good between them. Meanwhile, her man has been on the prowl, flirting, asking for phone numbers, and tgoing out on dates. Why? Because a man doesn’t want any interruption of his sex supply.
When a man is looking for a girl while he’s still got a girl, this is called the “(s)election process.” (Because it’s a lot like an election).
Men have neither the courage nor the courtesy to tell their woman “hey, thanks for your love and your sex and your time and your support, but i don’t want this anymore.” If you’re a woman and you think this, you’re either brain dead or living on Pluto. Men don’t do that. Again, men don’t leave the relationship they’re in now until they’ve found someone else first, trust me. I know, it seems stupid, immature, dishonest, and unscrupulous, but that’s what they do. Don’t get mad at me, I’m just the messenger.
The (s)election process is a very fragile but important process.
Right now, as his current girlfriend (otherwise known as “the incumbent”) is “in office,” a man has already begun vetting new chicks. This means he’s ultra-secretive but ultra-flirty right now. It also means that he’s brainstorming ways to slowly sabotage their relationship so that she can dump him (men don’t like being the bad guy so they let the women do the dumping) and he can be free to be with the next woman. However, while she’s technically still in office, she has some major advantages over all incoming candidates and these are the following:
1) Seniority. She’s already been introduced to the fam, she’s gone to disney, and held his baby niece when she was only a few weeks old–she’s practically family. His mom has already despised her and then come to love her and he doesn’t want to put moms through that process all over again.
2) Positive Background Check. She’s already been vetted for all kinds of crazy. By now, he knows which buttons to push and which ones not to push. It takes a man forever until her gets to the point where he isn’t always fucking up or pushing the wrong buttons. This process is not fun and he doesn’t want to have to go thru this process again.
3) A Stellar Track Record. By now, he already knows she’s good in bed. She either came into the relationship that way, or he groomed her to meet his physical needs. They both know how to please each other at this point and he knows exactly which spot to get to orgasm in under 55 seconds.
4) The Return. Dating is expensive and he’s already getting the return on the financial investment he made within the courting stages of their relationship. Right now, the sex is free (or at least much cheaper than sex with new booty (i.e., you)).
5) CTS. or credit for time served. Not all guys are creeps. Some are aware of the time and effort and support their significant other has sacrificed for their relationship. She’s paid her dues and held it down for him during times of illness and adversity. A man would be hard-pressed to leave a woman who’s proven to be trustworthy and who’s held it down for him for this long. Also, she has the secret weapon–literally. She knows all his top secrets and if he lets her get away, it could lead to a major security breach and endanger the entire country (ok, mostly him).
These are all very valuable qualities which could earn her second term chance quite easily. At any time he could change his mind and decide to stay with her. As they say, the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. It’s going to take a lot for her to be displaced by a newer, possibly younger, brighter, cuter, thinner, less combative, more cooperative candidate, such as yourself. He’s out there and he’s lookin for you. Are you ready?
While she’s watching Devil Wears Prada, eating popcorn, and painting her nails feeling (falsely) secure, he’s probably on a date with you vetting you out. If he’s really good (and you’re really lucky), he’s gotten past the primaries and is looking at the candidates for the next general election.
I beg your pardon. What’s that? Did you really just ask Why doesn’t he just leave the poor girl before he starts up something new with another woman? Girlfriend, have you been listening? Because, for a second time, MEN DON’T DO THAT. It’s not the American Way.
Unlike women, men are never “off women” the way we are occasionally “off men.” They don’t need time to heal, recuperate, collect their thoughts, or “find themselves.” Any man who can “find himself” inside a woman within 20 minutes without having to feed her first is a happy man. Men go from relationship to relationship because it’s easier than actually having to deal with the hurt and rejection of a separation or breakup. As a result, their relationships tend to overlap. Like Leap Frog.
This is why I always say that when it comes to dating, (practically) every man is available (married men are an exception because the odds of him leaving his wife for you are very slim to none. Divorces are expensive!) However, guys who are engaged or single but in a committed relationship, are liable to slide right out of an old relationship and right into a new one at a moment’s notice all while girlfriend/fiancee has little to no clue. Besides, by then, he would have already detached himself from her emotionally and found himself a new girlfriend (hopefully you); the one he’ll go to immediately after he leaves the ex- on the front steps crying.*
This is why a smart, single woman minds her business when it comes to whether a man has a girlfriend. Don’t bother yourself with this information or inquire too far into whether or not a man has a girlfriend or if he’s seeing people. Odds are, he is.**
Yes, I know you don’t like the idea of going out with another girl’s boyfriend but get over it. Truth is: every boyfriend you’ve ever had, except maybe the ones in high school (who were corny and had no game), most likely used the same process–you just didn’t know it. This also means that whenever a guy dumped you or you (thought you) dumped him, there was probably someone else–you just didn’t know it. Don’t get emotional or sad now, that’s all in the past. You know now. From here on forward, you now know that this is the way it is. Men are selfish, get over it.
Now, if you want to know if a man is in a relationship, don’t ask him, he’ll just lie. The better method would be to “clock him.” No, you don’t hit him over the head, you pay attention the amount and the quality of time he makes available to you and you’ll get your answer. You’ll know whether or not a man’s in a relationship by how much time he gives you and when. For instance, if a man is easily accessible to you, he most likely doesn’t have anyone special or he does have someone special and he’s already on his way out of that relationship and old girl is losing him by the minute. If, on the other hand, his time is scarce and too restricted (i.e. he doesn’t take your calls after a certain time or on certain days like weekends) then he’s got his heels dug in pretty deep with that girl and he’s not going anywhere anytime soon (or, he’s just not into you). He’s probably just using you as a tool to meet his needs for sexual variety or using you as an occasional emotional escape from his girl when she’s driving him crazy. Whatever the reason, he has absolutely no intention of voting her out of office anytime soon and if he does, it won’t be for you. Pay attention.
Now that you know about the (s)election process, you’ll need an effective campaign strategy for unseating the incumbent, a fairly complicated process. That strategy will come later in another post.
In the meantime, you can use this strategy…
Until next time,
Ciao!
___________
*this is why men never break up with women at their own house–because afterwards, they can’t leave. When a man comes to your house and he’s got all of the items that you loaned him with him, get your gun, he’s about to break up with you.
**there’s always the rare example of one who isn’t, but he’s rare (and most likely a complete cornball); certainly not common (or awesome) enough for you to dismiss this advice.
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